Title: "Before I Go to Sleep" – A Confounding Journey of Memory and Mystery
Before I Go to Sleep by S.J. Watson caught my attention long before I decided to dive in. The premise of a woman waking up each day with no recollection of her life promises intrigue, suspense, and mystery—a trifecta that is often hard to resist. However, as I settled in for an audiobook version, I quickly found myself grappling with the reality that my expectations might have been too high.
From the outset, we meet Christine, who wakes each morning next to a man she doesn’t recognize—her husband, Ben. As someone who often listens to audiobooks, I felt compelled to engage more deeply; after all, there’s no skimming through the text when you’re locked into a narration. Yet, perhaps that heightened scrutiny made my experience even harsher. The slow unraveling of Christine’s world felt more like a leisurely stroll than the gripping page-turner I had hoped for.
As the story unfolded, I couldn’t help but feel trapped in Christine’s repetitive loops of confusion and despair. The bulk of the narrative revolves around her rereading her own journal entries, which detail her fear and disorientation. To be fair, this does mirror the genuine experience of someone suffering from memory loss, but let’s be real—Emily Dickenson once said, "I know nothing in the world more enormous than life." And yet, this felt more tedious than profound.
The central twist—revealing that Ben has spun a lovely web of lies surrounding Christine’s past—could have been riveting, but instead felt predictably constructed. I found myself screaming internally, “Girl, why are you staying with this creepy liar?” The reveal of her affair and the sinister shadow it cast over her life introduced a layer of intensity that unfortunately fell flat amid clichés and a pacing that felt as sluggish as molasses. It’s almost as if the plot conspired to keep me from truly caring about Christine’s fate.
And speaking of characters, let’s address Claire, Christine’s supposed best friend. I found it bewildering that she could simply drift away during a time when Christine desperately needed support. If my friend suffered from amnesia, I would be there every day, not letting uncertainty stop me. Claire’s apparent disregard for her friend raised my eyebrows more than a few times. I can hear the collective sigh of female readers—how do authors continue to paint women as so helpless and dim?
The audiobook narrator’s voice did little to alleviate my frustration. When she portrayed Claire, I found myself cringing, wishing I could fast-forward through the jarring tones. Yet, I clung to the hope that the intensity of Christine’s situation might redeem moments of poorly executed writing, riddled with clichés and an overly drawn-out plot.
There were indeed intense moments—the descriptions of Christine’s physical confrontations made me squirm, and I could almost feel her panic radiating. One particular fight scene felt like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop in agonizing slow motion. “Just hit him again!” I found myself shouting (internally, of course). When action sequences feel padded, it can detract from the overall impact, turning what should be exhilarating into a chore.
In conclusion, Before I Go to Sleep might resonate well with those who appreciate psychological thrillers that lean heavily into character exploration, despite some frustratingly slow pacing. If you enjoy tales that hinge on the fragility of memory and identity while navigating the untrustworthy nature of relationships, this might still be worth a listen. But for me? I came away feeling a bit incredulous, more entertained by my annoyance than by the story itself. If nothing else, Watson’s debut reminds us that sometimes, human relationships can be as confounding as our own shattered memories.
Discover more about Before I Go to Sleep on GoodReads >>
