A Heartfelt Dive into "If He Had Been with Me" by Laura Nowling
When a book bubbles to the top of my BookTok feed with over a million copies sold, my curiosity inevitably piques. "If He Had Been with Me" by Laura Nowling is one such novel that stood out. Marketed as an achingly authentic portrayal of teen love and regret, I was instantly intrigued. Would it live up to the hype? Spoiler alert: it did, and then some.
At its core, this story dives deep into the lives of Autumn and Finn, two former best friends whose paths diverged as they entered high school. What’s beautifully raw about this narrative is the exploration of love lost, what could have been, and the quiet tugs of nostalgia that echo throughout one’s teenage years. Autumn, with her loyal boyfriend Jamie and her tight-knit friend group, seemed to have moved on—yet every glance at Finn ignites lingering feelings that refuse to fade. I could feel that pang in my chest with her, that bittersweet longing for a different version of her life.
Nowling has an uncanny ability to deliver authenticity in her characters’ emotions. Autumn is refreshingly relatable—awkward but deeply introspective—making her journey not just a fictional experience, but a mirror reflecting the complexities of young love that many of us have faced. The author’s simple yet poignant prose beautifully captures the essence of those fleeting moments, where just a look can light up one’s entire world or send it crashing down.
While some readers may find the pacing uneven, I felt that the moments of stillness amplified the emotional weight of Autumn’s experiences. The writing style, often characterized by short, choppy sentences, creates a sense of urgency and rawness, mirroring the tumultuous nature of teenage life. One particular line that resonated with me was, “No one is perfect.” It’s a simple reminder that perfection often exists only in our imagination, yet the yearning for it can consume us.
Nowling also gives us insights into Autumn’s world through her own writing, which is a fantastic touch. However, I did find myself wishing for more depth in those pieces; they felt a bit juvenile compared to the other rich narratives woven throughout the book. Yet, perhaps that’s part of its charm—the blend of fantasy and stark reality mimics the teenage experience of grappling with self-identity and belonging.
As I turned the final pages, my heart ached for Autumn and Finn—not just for their relationship, but for the realization that our choices ripple through life in ways we often cannot foresee. This novel beautifully encapsulates the idea that “If he had been with me, everything would have been different…”
Who would enjoy "If He Had Been with Me"? Anyone who has ever experienced that tender yet painful crossroads of young love, or felt the weight of regret, will find solace in these pages. It’s a story that speaks not just to teenagers but to the hearts of anyone looking back at the moments that define us.
Reading this book was an emotional rollercoaster that left me reflecting on my own youthful romances. Laura Nowling, thank you for crafting a story that pulls on the heartstrings and reminds us of the beauty—and tragedy—of what it means to love. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll need to re-read this gem rather soon.
You can find If He Had Been with Me here >>